|From the fire on the weekend after soccer|
I came across this article Tuesday from email. Basically I think the post lacks much. I noted on Facebook that I would comment on it after work if I could.
'Instead of teaching girls how to not get raped ("don't wear this," "don't ever drink," etc.), what if we went to the root of the problem and raised boys to know the ins and outs of consent?*'
It would be a good idea to raise young women to avoid sexual assault, as much as humanly possible.
I would teach, if I had the family and opportunity, my wife, sister, daughter, niece, etc., knowledge of how the male mind works and as well some martial arts techniques and basic weapons defenses.
It would be a good idea to raise young men to respect young women.
I have discussed consent philosophically previously on my blogs and how it is a tricky philosophical concept.
One reason, for example, is that something consensual does not necessarily equate to something moral or ethical.
It does not seem reasonable to expect either underage teenage boys or underage teenage girls to necessarily know the laws of consent in their legal jurisdiction.
Obviously, morally, ethically and philosophically abstaining from questionable sexual activity is what makes sense here.
'Here’s how you can rule out sleeping with someone:'
'1. She’s hammered.'
I have concerns with making 'she's hammered' the first reason to avoid potentially sleeping with someone and potentially committing rape.
This philosophically, morally and ethically risks playing games and playing word games.
What is hammered? Perhaps someone has had a few drinks but is not necessarily hammered? Is this really a good standard to suggest for young men in attempting to avoid rape?
Perhaps someone has been smoking marijuana? Perhaps one has taken another illegal drug or mind-altering substance?
Instead I would strongly suggest...
Rape is morally and ethically wrong.
A violation against another person, and also to oneself, in a sense.
One should avoid any possibility of this taking place to another as victim or self as violator.
Biblically it is sinful (Deuteronomy 22: 25-27).
Even in the modern Western World where there is great intelligence in certain areas today, but not much knowledge and wisdom with philosophy and theology, I reason young men need to be taught basic sexual morality, ethics and respect for others, including respect in regard to women which would obviously prohibit rape and any kind of sexual assault.
This would be the same for any adults, myself included.
With flirtations from young women at work. I certainly would not in any way either by corporate ethical standards, or of course my Biblical ones even consider sexual activity based on whether or not a woman was 'hammered'.
If someone is anywhere near not fully conscious sexual activity after work in a social context should not even be a consideration. The fact that this even needs to be discussed in today's society with young men is definitely a sign of the times.
Dark moral, ethical and philosophical times.
From a Biblical perspective, sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage is sinful (Exodus 20, 1 Corinthians 6-7, Matthew 5).
Of course this is my model and position.
'2. She seems unsure if she wants to (you should never have to talk anyone into it).'
Then obviously the answer would be no.
3. She’s passed out.'
Do I even need to comment here? I suppose I do, quite sadly.
To love your neighbour as self (Matthew 22, Mark 22) is to respect their sexuality, and that includes when they are passed out.
A man should not be looking when to take advantage of a woman.
'4. It seems like there’s any other reason she might regret it in the morning. (Even if it’s not rape, do you really want to be someone’s morning-after regret, when instead they can remember you as a total gentleman?)'
A total gentleman if romantically interested is interested in true love, marriage, family and a long-term commitment, not just quick sex.
That is true of an adult in an adult setting as well.
'P.S. My he/she conventions here are in no way an attempt to shut out gay men from the conversation -- these are notes to my son (who happens to be heterosexual) and other heterosexual sons. To gay sons out there, just pretend I said he, because this goes for you, too!'
Another sign of the times...